I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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