You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
