id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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