Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
