i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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