Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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