I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize