I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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