FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize