the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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