Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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