Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
