super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
