I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
