rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
