I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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