alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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