I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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