I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
