Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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