i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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