She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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