i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
