Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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