I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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