So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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