I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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