i think i have two assholes
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize