This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
they need to just BURY HIM!
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Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents