am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.