Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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