Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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