I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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