if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
