i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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