i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
