'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
