we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
