We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just had sex on a roof
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
