So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
