I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
