I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sober January is a disaster.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
