I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
