it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
