morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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