Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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