i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
