Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
