Duck Duck Cougar?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We are two peas in an std pod
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
