Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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