Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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