I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
