you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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