Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
