I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
