your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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