I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
