You really coming over, don't trick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize