I'm lost and stupid without you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
