Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
