just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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