Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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  (626): My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today". http://tfl.nu/jga5
  Replies (35) Good night (3606) Bad night (1947)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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  (310): I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/e7ka
  Replies (14) Good night (3893) Bad night (1272)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

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  (218): i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette. http://tfl.nu/f90v
  Replies (77) Good night (4675) Bad night (906)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

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  (816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/i2tt
  Replies (40) Good night (1517) Bad night (9874)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.

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  (405): I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost. http://tfl.nu/voez
  Replies (41) Good night (7659) Bad night (2221)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

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  (917): I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud. http://tfl.nu/cvat
  Replies (15) Good night (5823) Bad night (1036)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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  (908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks. http://tfl.nu/ltgr
  Replies (11) Good night (5418) Bad night (1717)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.

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  (814): i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him. http://tfl.nu/dwt7
  Replies (2) Good night (1858) Bad night (788)
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  (949): View more from California

  Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter

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  (949): Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter http://tfl.nu/gh1h
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (1557)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.

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  (251): I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision. http://tfl.nu/w9kf
  Replies (24) Good night (3666) Bad night (1135)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department

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  (404): Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department http://tfl.nu/p2zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1647) Bad night (504)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.

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  (248): I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up. http://tfl.nu/qg1r
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (1204)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?

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  (613): I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome? http://tfl.nu/18yi
  Replies (1) Good night (835) Bad night (242)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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  (+61): You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering". http://tfl.nu/uajx
  Replies (1) Good night (381) Bad night (172)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.

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  (516): I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this. http://tfl.nu/0s3c
  Replies (0) Good night (152) Bad night (107)

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