her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
