Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll