people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
