Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/efyh
  Replies (44) Good night (878) Bad night (3484)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs. http://tfl.nu/qooi
  Replies (24) Good night (4732) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie? http://tfl.nu/tj9i
  Replies (83) Good night (6303) Bad night (2129)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
  Replies (53) Good night (5852) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers http://tfl.nu/9dwx
  Replies (1) Good night (2245) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel. http://tfl.nu/qsvc
  Replies (3) Good night (2788) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): 12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong. (856): Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits http://tfl.nu/ncaq
  Replies (19) Good night (5271) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Fear?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FEAR.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear. (781): Fear? (617): FEAR. http://tfl.nu/5mzi
  Replies (5) Good night (2891) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub
  Replies (9) Good night (588) Bad night (2534)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy http://tfl.nu/irre
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (2717)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit. http://tfl.nu/pssm
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation. http://tfl.nu/rbh2
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk
  Replies (16) Good night (587) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8ven
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (336)

Randomize