Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
