Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
