I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
