I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
