And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
