probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
