those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
