her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love accidental penises.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
