I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
