We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
