My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
