haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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